Most times, many of us get into relationships, unsure of our emotions or what we really want to gain out of the relationship. We don't really sit down to weigh our present circumstances and how said circumstances would affect our relationships and vice-versa.
Most of us, teenagers and young adults, allow ourselves to be swayed and carried by the fast flowing river of our emotions. The resulting effect of these can be seen in the numerous failed relationships many of us get into before even reaching adulthood or maturity. As a result of this immaturity, we also discover that many of us are unable to keep on having a normal functional friendship with our exes, reason being that we never sat down to really define our relationships before rushing into them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's compulsory to continue being friends with your ex after breaking up, but sometimes, the main reason why you find it difficult to continue being friends with your ex is that outside of your feelings and sex, you and your ex never really had much in common.
Sometimes you just need to realize that you aren't really in love with him/her, you are merely in love with the idea of love. You have written out a script in your head about how it would feel like to be in a titular relationship with the object of your attraction and so you feel an imaginary sense of loss when it feels like your emotions are not being reciprocated. You'd save yourself from a lot of unwarranted heartache if you could just learn to sort out and analyze your emotions before acting on them, not to mention the fact that you'd be much more desirable.
Once you learn to stop making romantic relationships a priority when meeting members of the opposite sex, you'll find that your friendships and relationships- romantic and nonromantic alike- would become more fulfilling. You just have to let things happen of their own accord, you don't need to force things. Some people would be a lot more beneficial and useful to you when you are just friends, as opposed to when you force a relationship.
Not all relationships have to result in broken hearts and trust issues.
Most of us, teenagers and young adults, allow ourselves to be swayed and carried by the fast flowing river of our emotions. The resulting effect of these can be seen in the numerous failed relationships many of us get into before even reaching adulthood or maturity. As a result of this immaturity, we also discover that many of us are unable to keep on having a normal functional friendship with our exes, reason being that we never sat down to really define our relationships before rushing into them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's compulsory to continue being friends with your ex after breaking up, but sometimes, the main reason why you find it difficult to continue being friends with your ex is that outside of your feelings and sex, you and your ex never really had much in common.
Sometimes you just need to realize that you aren't really in love with him/her, you are merely in love with the idea of love. You have written out a script in your head about how it would feel like to be in a titular relationship with the object of your attraction and so you feel an imaginary sense of loss when it feels like your emotions are not being reciprocated. You'd save yourself from a lot of unwarranted heartache if you could just learn to sort out and analyze your emotions before acting on them, not to mention the fact that you'd be much more desirable.
Once you learn to stop making romantic relationships a priority when meeting members of the opposite sex, you'll find that your friendships and relationships- romantic and nonromantic alike- would become more fulfilling. You just have to let things happen of their own accord, you don't need to force things. Some people would be a lot more beneficial and useful to you when you are just friends, as opposed to when you force a relationship.
Not all relationships have to result in broken hearts and trust issues.
Most times, we confuse our emotions, but then there are times we just the ones who care.
ReplyDeleteTrue, but then, as hard as it sounds, sometimes, we just need to learn how to read the signs and analyze our feelings.
Deletethis defines the typical twenty first century youth. let's let things flow just the way they're meant to be.
ReplyDeleteRight?
DeleteNice
ReplyDeleteThank you aFiV.
DeleteFor a relationship to hold... You'd have to be friends first... Friends who know and understand each other
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteUltimately, the importance of understanding cannot be overemphasized.
Okay this is actually the truth. Strong bitter truth
ReplyDeleteIkr.
Delete"Outside of your feelings and sex, you and your ex never had much in common"
ReplyDeleteI just realised how true this is. After lots of relationships end, nothing is left between both parties because of this.
We then realize that our relationships were just empty.
DeleteMariam, you're just the revolutionary writer we've been waiting for in these contemporary times. I felt like you were talking about me and a couple of teenagers I know. Apt and precise. I'm your biggest fan baby girl
ReplyDeleteThank you.
DeleteThis is actually a nice blog about relationships, I'm not a fan of lovey dovey and all that but I believe in friendship before relationship as you stated. Nice one May!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Zoe.
Delete����
ReplyDeleteNice
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this❤. Beautifully written
ReplyDeleteZibahhhh, thank you.
Delete"and so you feel an imaginary sense of loss when it feels like your emotions are not being reciprocated"...
ReplyDeleteElaborate.
Sometimes we're only in love with the idea of Love. This is an amazing write up, beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteYou're getting there May, keep it up.
Thanks Val.
DeleteNice
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteThe problem with me and relationships is that heart break is so weighing to the extents that that it Reduces your efficiency in other part of life
ReplyDelete